I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Only a mothe r could love this liver
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
