hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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