their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
