Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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