Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
