Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize