I puked a lego.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize