Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
