I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
