we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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