this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
