is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
