Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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