we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
