you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
