i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize