I must be too annoying 4 u.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
