i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
