True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
