Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
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