I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
