Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Your cock deserves a montage
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
