fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
