I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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