kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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