Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
