VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
