the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
