We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
