Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
