yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
