he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
