Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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