is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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