your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
