This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
