So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
