He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
