3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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