white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Who wears a wallet chain?!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
