Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
