he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
