yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
