I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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