She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
