if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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