I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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