Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize