Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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