He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
