Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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