My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
