A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
