He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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