I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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