Do you still have your period?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
