How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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