I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
