Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
