i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
