Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
