how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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