I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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