Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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